Sergei Esenin met Maria Balzamova, a young teacher, in Konstantinov in 1912. She is considered the addressee of his poem I Will Not Be Wandering About…
I will not be wandering about
Trampling goosefoot in the bushes any more;
And I know you’ll never come around
In my dreams, oat-haired, as before.
You Were Crying On A Quiet Night (1912) is also dedicated to Balzamova. Maria was a friend to Anna Sardanovskaya, a relative of a Konstantinov priest Ivan Smirnov, who played an important role in the poet’s life. Esenin wrote the following on this encounter to his friend Grisha Panfilov: “She acquainted me with her friend (Maria Balzamova). The encounter affected me as well, since she left in three days and asked me to become her friend on the last night. I agreed. This young lady has the soul of Turgenev”s Lisa (from Home of the Gentry). Furthermore, she exhibits all the same qualities, except for religious views. I said goodbye to her, and I know that it will be forever, but she will not fade from my memory when I meet another woman of the same kind.”
In his youth, Esenin was attracted to Maria Balsamova, but he tried to deal with his feelings. “I don”t know what to do with myself. Suppress all feelings? Kill the longing in dissolute pleasures? To do something so unpleasant with myself? To live — or not live? , » 17-year-old Esenin asked, “And I wring my hands in despair, what should I do? How do I live? Aren”t the feelings in me false, can their fire be extinguished? “.
The poet writes the following in this letter: “My dear! I am so glad to hear from you. I was almost hopeless about a reply to what I had said in my passionate and wild impulse. And… And suddenly you answered despite it all. Dear, dear Manya. You are asking me about my health. I shall tell you that I am unwell, my chest is really hurting. Yes, Manya, it is all my own fault. You don”t know what I have done to myself, but I will tell you. It was hard and insulting to withstand everything that was “falling” on my head. They laughed at me, and then at you. Sima openly screamed, “Bring Serezha and Manya here, where are they?” This was revenge for her sister. She used to tell everybody that she had been my “passé”, and then suddenly all was revealed’.
I will not be wandering about
Trampling goosefoot in the bushes any more;
And I know you’ll never come around
In my dreams, oat-haired, as before.
You Were Crying On A Quiet Night (1912) is also dedicated to Balzamova. Maria was a friend to Anna Sardanovskaya, a relative of a Konstantinov priest Ivan Smirnov, who played an important role in the poet’s life. Esenin wrote the following on this encounter to his friend Grisha Panfilov: “She acquainted me with her friend (Maria Balzamova). The encounter affected me as well, since she left in three days and asked me to become her friend on the last night. I agreed. This young lady has the soul of Turgenev”s Lisa (from Home of the Gentry). Furthermore, she exhibits all the same qualities, except for religious views. I said goodbye to her, and I know that it will be forever, but she will not fade from my memory when I meet another woman of the same kind.”
In his youth, Esenin was attracted to Maria Balsamova, but he tried to deal with his feelings. “I don”t know what to do with myself. Suppress all feelings? Kill the longing in dissolute pleasures? To do something so unpleasant with myself? To live — or not live? , » 17-year-old Esenin asked, “And I wring my hands in despair, what should I do? How do I live? Aren”t the feelings in me false, can their fire be extinguished? “.
The poet writes the following in this letter: “My dear! I am so glad to hear from you. I was almost hopeless about a reply to what I had said in my passionate and wild impulse. And… And suddenly you answered despite it all. Dear, dear Manya. You are asking me about my health. I shall tell you that I am unwell, my chest is really hurting. Yes, Manya, it is all my own fault. You don”t know what I have done to myself, but I will tell you. It was hard and insulting to withstand everything that was “falling” on my head. They laughed at me, and then at you. Sima openly screamed, “Bring Serezha and Manya here, where are they?” This was revenge for her sister. She used to tell everybody that she had been my “passé”, and then suddenly all was revealed’.
